On the steps of St. Patrick’s Cathedral on Fifth Avenue, just before noon today, Cardinal Edward Egan (Archbishop of New York) blessed a crowd of funny hat-wearing misfits. After the blessing, with arm and index finger raised, his holiness pointed into the immense and peculiar crowd below. “Look,” he said out of the left side of his mouth, “I can see…”

“…Elderly Supermen showing snapshots to redheaded NYPD rookies!”

“…Foppish, dentally-enhanced young aristocrats sporting shrubbery while waiting to inherit huge antediluvian fortunes!”

“…Midtown’s main drag clogged with babycarriage-blocking flâneurs wearing hand-tailored single-use bunny ears!”

“…Fedora’d Larry David lookalikes rendered nearly invisible by their African American wives’ yellow light-casting bonnets!”

“…Wonderlandesque lampshade-headed, peach-dressed noblewomen posing with various glamor-seeking Midwestern tourists!”

“…Time travelers from a forgotten era of pastel-clad and ogre-faced landed gentry!”

“…Superannuated and 93.75% toothless drag queens dizzily pirouetting to the delight of a circle of gawking onlookers and professional photographers!”

“Thank goodness I’m retiring,” mused the Cardinal. “I have been missing all the fun…”