I had so much fun with my post yesterday that I couldn’t resist doing another one. So now it’s time for round two of…

This time I’ll be focusing on my brother when he was very young. Unfortunately, there’s nowhere to buy nice clothes and acne medication in the womb. But once you drop, it’s sink or swim, and Rob is clearly having a hard time treading water in this photo.

Seriously, who ever heard of a pizza-faced baby?

The sad thing is that he clearly didn’t clean up his act once he was on the outside for a while:

What self-respecting politician would kiss that? According to my mom, it’s chocolate cake all over his face. Whatever it is, I seriously doubt it’s good for his complexion. The haircut makes him look like Moe from the three stooges. He could probably stand to lose some weight, too.

It wasn’t all bad, mind you.

My mother claims that Rob “looks like a little fraggle” in this photo. I’m not sure about that, but I will say that one-piece pajamas are totally coming back into style. This photo was taken on christmas morning, the year my father and grandfather built us a playhouse in my basement. I have no idea how they hid it from us during construction, because I used to spend a lot of time down there. In any case, Rob had one of his few cute moments just as this photo was taken. He’s still got some pretty weak hair here, but the weird-looking flopsy feet, resulting no doubt from his short, stubby legs, make up for it. I also like the pajamas I’m wearing in this photo, which were stolen from the hospital after one of my many visits (I was a sickly child, and also a wreckless one).

Next we have another of Rob’s rare moments of cuteness.

The hair is better, those boots are fabulous (they remind me of those fireman calendars), and Rob is finally working on his runway poses. I’m not so sure about the jogging pants, but they’re mostly hidden anyway.

In fact, I’ve over-represented Rob’s stylish moments here. They only popped up once in a while, and seemingly by accident. Here’s further proof:

The hair! Oh, the hair. I think the anti-sideburns are really the worst part. Judging from how pissed off he seems, Rob was probably very mad at me when this photo was taken, possibly for telling him how ridiculous he looked.

After a few years of this kind of assault on the eyes and sensibilities of those around him, this is how it all ended:

Luckily, I was there to take him in. I’ll admit, though, that I’m risking hypocracy in this photo.